I am given this ‘much’ of you and yet I do not know why. At times when I think you are fading away or have disappeared, there you are inducing yourself within me and I still ask why? I surely cannot control you, or can I?
I perhaps can control the ‘false’ side of you, if there is such. Because it is after all my desires, hence thee anticipation that so “happenly” unconsciously builds you up. And when you crumble, I am not surprised, therefore not disappointed.
I do not know about the true side of you though, in scriptures it is said that if I can see you, then you are not at all. You make the invisible acquirable, the impossible possible. Endurance is your companion and patience the compensation for your presence. An exuberant atmosphere you always conceive. According to scriptures, you are the kind that never disappoints, thee anchor of my soul.
Come to think of it: aren’t you the basis/result of belief, confidence, assurance, encouragement, expectation, reliance, dreams, aspiration, ambition? (I could go on…) And yet I do not understand why you keep surging in and within me. What is it that you want to accomplish from and within me? How do I even begin to explain you?
Sometimes I cannot pin point you out. Maybe it is because of sometimes you bring about what seems to be the ‘same happening’ everyday, even though when I wake each morning you hold a different unfolding for the day. The unfolding unknown at the opening of an eye, most of the time ignites a quiet excitement if I may say so, an excitement that encourages one to look forward towards the rest of the day. You are able to hold one together, even though I cannot fully comprehend you.
There are times when I am attracted to the opposite of you, but you always manage to turn my eyes back to you. How do you do it? You make worrying worth millions of nothing and complaining only slows you down for a moment. However none can put an expiry date on you, time is forever on your side. Who are you?